For some unexplained reason, on an uncertain date, a mental to-do list began scrolling through my brain and has yet to stop. “You must make your life orderly today, so that everything will run better tomorrow,” it reads. Deep down I know this is simply not true. Will I ever have a day when every item is checked off? I doubt it.I’ve spent many hours striving for perfection in my home – cleaning, organizing, never giving myself a moment’s rest – only to go to bed at night with unfulfilled expectations robbing me of my joy. And even on days when I come close to getting everything tidy, I have a nagging feeling that I’ll never be able to keep it that way. Is there any hope?
Yes! By facing my addiction and realizing that it robs me of much more than joy and time with my family. I’ve adopted the following principles as my ex-perfectionist creed. If you, too, have closets that could be displayed in national art museums, maybe these ideas will help.
I will focus on family. It’s been said that what you spend your days doing will determine what you spend your lifetime doing. There’s a lot of truth in that. And five years from now, I don’t want to look back and regret not spending enough time with my my husband, my children, or my friends.
I will step out of my comfort zone. Will life really fall apart if I leave the dishes in the sink overnight? (No, I’ve tried it!) I don’t want to pass up making a memory to clean a kitchen that will be dirty again tomorrow.
I will remember that rigid people are brittle and break easily. I’m trying to be more flexible about my expectations. I’m also trying not to fret over little things, even if they don’t match up to my standards. It is of greater value to teach my children to contribute to our household than to complete the housework myself.
I will consider what’s eternally important. No matter what the mental to-do list tells me, my success does not depend on how well I keep my earthly home, but instead in the value I place on my heavenly one. Securing cleanliness and comfort should never take precedence over contributing to God’s kingdom. Studying God’s Word, spending time in prayer, and reaching out to others, I’ve realized, is never time wasted. In fact, don’t tell anyone, but I consider these things as setting my heavenly home in order, closets and all!
Tricia Goyer is a freelance writer from Kalispell, Montana. She and her husband, John, have three children.
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